January kills me.
I feel like I’ve come a long way towards overcoming depression, but I always struggle at this time of year. I think I’m doing everything right, but I still feel like I’m crawling through mud.
January blues? Feels more like January blacks.
I know I’m not the only one. Apparently January 21st is the most depressing Monday of the year. I can well believe it. Christmas is well and truly over – unless you live in a house two roads away from me, where they still have their tree up. It’s dark, cold and miles away to summer.
The lack of light definitely affects me, so I always try to get outside for at least half an hour in the brightest part of the day. I’ve noticed I seem to buy a lot of treats in January, so maybe I should just pack that in and buy a SAD light box?
This week I’ve kept up with all my commitments and obligations, despite feeling like a sack of shite. I know it’s important not to let things slip, otherwise things can get very slippery indeed. I’ve taken my medication, made an effort to look presentable, kept to my routine and eaten my five portions of fruit and veg a day. One day I ate three of them before 10.30am which I feel deserves special commendation. I’ve kept in touch with people, arranged lunch dates and even wore a bright yellow dress with owls on, despite my mood being more suited to a black dress with sloths on. I have to say the dress did help a little – who doesn’t love an owl? Plus, I got five compliments on it, which didn’t hurt.
I did all this, but somehow couldn’t escape my grim reaper mood.
I’m not sure I can do much more so for now, I’ve accepted the way I feel. It’s like trying to swim the wrong way up Niagara Falls trying to change things. I’ll go with the flow and it will all feel better soon.
It always does. Maybe not through the dark months of winter, but things always get better. Until there comes a time when I can afford to live in L.A during January, I’ll just carry on doing my best.