I’m back!

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I haven’t written this for a while as there has been too much going on. Ironically, I was off work for 6 weeks over the summer and thought I would have plenty of time for blogging. I even planned to step up the frequency of the blogs and was hoping to get at least 2 out per week. That didn’t happen for several reasons:

1) When I’m working I don’t have the energy to deal with much else. So I leave things like visits to friends/family/ hairdresser/doctor/dentist etc for the holidays and then find that this takes all my time instead.

2) Sometimes I just don’t feel like re-visiting my mentally ill past. I think that’s a good thing. The longer I can go without thinking about it the better really. I think if you constantly ruminate over things it stops you from moving forwards. I’ve been through it once already and that was enough. I do want to bring my story up to date though and continue to talk about various mental health issues. I think I might have made my blogging life harder by starting with events that happened back in 2009. I wanted to describe a certain period of my life but I’m very different to that now. It might be better to talk about how things are now with reference to the past. I will experiment and see. It’s been bugging me that people might read my blog and think that’s how I am now, because I’m not. This is also good, I just wasn’t expecting the process of improvement to be so swift this year.

3) I wildly overestimate the goals I can achieve in any given time. I am completely unrealistic about my energy levels and how my health problems interfere with my life. Then if I haven’t done something for a while, like my blog, I get out of the habit and feel like I can’t get back into it again.

4) My partner’s Dad died in April this year after a long battle with cancer. It’ s been a terrible, difficult time and of course it brought back everything I went through myself when my Dad passed away.  I don’t want to go into a lot of detail about it, but that’s what’s been happening. 

5) I’ve been struggling, REALLY struggling that I’ve put myself ‘out there’ in such an open way. I’ve spent a long time wondering if I should delete this blog. I don’t know how comfortable I am with sharing this side of myself so publicly.

Now I’ve decided to drop the goal setting and pressure I’m putting on myself. I will blog when the time feels right and when I am able to. It seemed so urgent when I first started it, but things are improving so rapidly that I’d rather people heard about that instead.

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About laurajaneroche

Greetings and salutations! I'm here in the blogosphere to share my thoughts about living with various troublesome illnesses. After a great run of blogging on Wordpress, I'm now in the middle of moving house to my own website. Why not come and join me? I'm at www.lauraroche.co.uk and you can keep track of all my new blogs from there. Feel free to sign up for my newsletter, which you can subscribe to on the home page and never miss a new blog post or article! Hope to see you there 😀

One response »

  1. welcome back Laura!!!! Woooo!!
    A mix of good/sad news, I know exactly what you mean with the time issue!! Somehow I motivated my self to blog everyday for the Olypic Blogathon in September, but hardly written anything in October!! Tiglet’s back in a new series of adventures, but that’s about it!!

    Keep on going!!!

    Ian M.

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